slomo
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i started your thoughts on september, 16, 2022, and, at the time, had set out to share one song a day…as you can imagine, this expectation put an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself and made this project unsustainable. in classic carina fashion, i wiped the ten or so posts i had made thus far, and wanted to start from scratch, sharing only songs i considered to be “all-time”. of course then, i had to only share songs i considered to be “all-time”, which was a different flavour of pressure, but still pressure nonetheless. so, for two years, despite joining a band and discovering and listening to absurd amounts of music, i put things on pause…until today.
it’s christmas eve, and even though i’m 28 and just flew into calgary after my 10-year high school reunion, i’m not allowed to go downstairs since santa is filling my stocking. a few minutes ago, i took a shower, popped two tyenol pms, and am snuggled up in bed as the temperature outside plummets below freezing. i open up my laptop and stare at my screen and wonder what song will be my new beginning, and without much thought at all, slomo is the answer.
if i had to put every feeling i’ve experienced the past two years into a song, it would be this one. a song filled with curiosity; a song that is a wonderful mix of light and dark; a song with cascading guitar lines, floating synths, and ethereal harmonies; a song of nostalgia and openness and love. in many ways, i’m still the same woman i was when i set out to make this project - i still have big dreams for my life, and i still treat love as an open end resource…but today, i’m a woman who is much kinder to herself in pursuit of these dreams. i move through the world with more gratitude, patience, forgiveness, hope, and love than ever before, and i choose to believe my ability to do so will only grow with time. while this song more directly speaks to discovering love with another individual, and has certainly held meaning in my life interpreted as such, it also sounds so much like growing up and discovering my own heart. this is something i’ve come to realize is the most beautiful part of life…in fact, it might be the whole reason for it - discovering who you are through constant change and fiercely loving yourself in every chapter. that’s the answer to all of this…from navigating a move across the country and starting a new job, to deciding which song to add and write about next. there is a reason for every chapter, and every chapter is beautiful…so with that, here’s to new beginnings.
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“you give me your heart
it's a curious thing
give me your love
it's a curious love”
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source: wells kenney who introduced me to allison in university. i saw slowdive with him at a festival in 2014 or 2015, and nearly a decade later, had the opportunity to see them in 2024 at outside lands in san francisco. i’ll never forget floating away during the set and riding my motorcycle back to my apartment in the rain, listening to this song on repeat.
